A real person, who speaks real words, to a real world, in real situations.
At the same time I want to do justice to the tagline of this blog. These are my thoughts, or musings, on life and God's love. Sometimes the two do not intermingle though.
It's almost like a marriage that goes through it's ups and downs.
Struggle is real.
Trouble is real.
Problems suck.
...And that is life.
But God's love is never changing and all the same, no matter what the circumstances of life are.
And life cannot exist outside of the love and grace of God.
So no matter how opposite they can seem sometimes, they will never divorce one from another.
But I'm a human, and I want to be real. Not all of my poems or posts on here speak, "Christianese".
And I guess this is my 'Forward 'for the poem I'm about to post... Because not everything I post is "positive" or "uplifting" 100% of the time.
I pray that my readers will remember that everything is grace, that even the saddest, darkest words still shine upon Christ... these words of mine, are just proof that we need to rely upon Him. Because if not for Jesus... these words would be true.
Sometimes I just want to level with people and speak humanity's language... and it is a language of pain.
So here it is: Weak.
I close my eyes and see all but what it is that I seek,
The pitch blackness that swirls into exuberant colors
Just permeates the inner thoughts and inner meanings of what
it is
To see, to think, to hear, to even wonder how I got here.
It’s a confusing time when the fog comes.
But it comes, always the same.
Year in. Year out,
Like nothing could quench the drought,
It happens. It looms.
It sits, still,
quiet, waiting for the time to strike,
Wishing it could just pounce on my dragged, dead body.
I’m worn.
And it knows this.
But yet it waits,
Just lingering over my head like a cloud on a midsummer
night’s brilliance.
It covers the lights and swirls the clarity from enjoying
the majesty
That sits in the ocean of stars above.
It’s a cloud, but it acts more than that.
Clouds just cause non-clarity.
This… This is different.
It’s like a coat that won’t fit.
It’s mine. It always has been, but it doesn’t do its job,
It won’t zip.
I can push, pull, force, rip…
It allows that ice cold whipping wind in every time it
tries…
Yes here it comes again.
I clench, body ready to be struck,
And then it never does… it waits.
Hanging on its every breath, its last leg of survival, the
cloud freezes.
There it is, still wallowing over me.
Its patience is unnerving,
Craving the moment when it will unleash and knock me down
again.
If only…
If only I could escape.
Yes, escape.
I close my eyes and see all but what it is that I seek,
and then it strikes in my most vulnerable moments…
Weak.
