Distraction

It has been a while since I contributed anything to this blog. I tried on numerous occasions to sit down and write, but every time I did the result was the same. I sit down, put my hands on the keyboard, then nothing. No words, not even coherent thoughts. I prayed about it, I wracked my brain, but nothing. No matter what I had read, no matter what revelations I had come to, I couldn't translate it into something I could share.

Since you are reading this, I guess you can see something changed. I think my focus was off. I was distracted.

Now don't get me wrong, I was still going to church, still volunteering, still reading, all the usual things. But I was distracted.

How can I be doing all this and still distracted? How can my knowledge grow, but my faith appear stunted? And I do believe it had been stunted. I never doubted, my faith didn't waver in that regard. I knew who I was, knew who God was, and knew what Jesus had done without a shadow of doubt in my mind.

But I couldn't share it.

To share what the distraction is, I need to step back a day, and share how I came to see it.



Last night Nathan shared a message with our young adult group at the church. Far from an ordinary night, we were plagued with technical difficulties. Nathan had planned to use a video to guide the lesson, but we couldn't get the computer to work right and with only 15 min to prep, everything had to change.

God had a different plan.

The message  topic changed entirely, and now we were treated to a lesson about hungering and thirsting for God. We read from Matthew 5, with an emphasis on the passage about being satisfied when you hunger and thirst for righteousness.

We talked about how that isn't something we see in today's culture. The all-in dedication and desire to know God, such as we see in the Psalms just isn't apparent anymore.

We discussed a few passages, and then Nathan left us with a challenge: To figure out how we could hunger like that again.

Now here I was sitting and thinking about that. As well as reflecting on the week I had just experienced with the youth of our church at a summer camp. Wondering how I can continue to fuel that growth.

This is the point where I thank Nathan, because he had shared some stories of what people do to get themselves in the mindset to seek God. And this is where I thank the youth, because it is in working with them that I do that.

You see, as I sat wondering both how to more fervently seek God, and how I could show the youth how to do the same that these things clicked, and simultaneously revealed my distraction.

I already knew that I felt the strongest desire to seek God while serving. My desire to read scripture and pray is always at it's peak while I'm doing mission's work or in some way pulled out of my daily routines.

Not only did I already know this but I was already doing it, and that is when I noticed my distraction.

Me

You see, I spent too much time wondering what I was supposed to do next. Wondering what God's will for me was. What was the next part of the "plan" He has for my life. And this, such a seemingly good thing to meditate on, was indeed my distraction.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." -Matthew 6:25-34

I may not have been worrying about food or clothing, but I was worrying about where I was going. About whether or not I was going to be effective.

And in so doing forgot the most important thing.

It isn't about me.

So for now, let the future be, it will come soon enough. Until then each day is it's own. Seek God right where you are. Because when our daily focus is staying on Him, and on showing His love to others, then wherever the future takes us is exactly where it is supposed to go.

So here I sit, at my keyboard in the restaurant where all the staff knows me, on my fourth refill and basking in the ambient noise with Scripture in front of me and a new clarity in my mind.

The words are flowing again.



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Kirk Curtis

Seeking to surrender completely to his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ daily. Kirk has a passion for missions and reaching cultures for Christ. Kirk works full-time and spends the rest of his time serving His church. He is committed to studying the Bible, promoting biblical literacy and restoring the life of the church through age specific ministry. Kirk spends hours a week mentoring youth and serving college age ministry programs. His postings are his devotional reflections on Scripture and life events. Kirk enjoys the outdoors and adventure, wherever and whenever. He has a knack for making the most ordinary chore a fun activity.

Follow him on Twitter: Follow @kirkerus