"STOP!
STOP. Stop basing your worth on your past, on how you were treated, on your current circumstances or your uncertainty of your future. Stop basing your worth on the things you may or may not have, or the things people may or may not have said to you. Don’t you see? You’re not worthless, like you were made to believe.
Your worth is based solely upon the price Jesus paid for you.
That makes you PRICELESS!"
...this was written today by a young girl who almost attempted suicide yesterday. Her identity I'm keeping confidential.
She posted on her tumblr, that she was tired of fighting, and she was just going to let Satan win.
And I thought I was having issues yesterday.
Physically and sexually abused by her family as a young child, she is the only Christian in her family, and suffers from mental diseases.
Something happened yesterday that put her over the edge. I didn't know her, I read a few of her posts before, that's all I knew about her.
All who follow her blog, and even those who don't spread the message around... the Christian blogging community began praying. Praying hard. And messaging her words of hope.
Last night she posted this:
"I Love You.
My beautiful brothers and sisters,
I am overwhelmed and finding it hard to place what is on my heart into words, but I need to write to you.
It’s been nearly 3 hours since the enemy started attacking.
He just shoved so much in my face. All the memories of my past, all the times I had upset a person I love, all the times I didn’t seek Christ and my own weakness took over. He is so deceiving. I remember him screaming “What are you waiting for?! Just do it!!!” My answer? I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. But I laid there anyway. And it came to a point where the thoughts stopped attacking me, and I tried to force them, because I believed I deserve that pain. But nothing would come… Instead, there was peace. Peace?! Yes. The peace of the Holy Spirit knocked down every wall I had built up, even though I was convinced I deserved to die tonight, Jesus took hold of me and held me. I fought. I wriggled. I tried to get away. I told Him I didn’t belong here and that I wasn’t worth His love. He wept with me. He kept hold. He kept whispering that He loved me and that I would see clearly once again.
I just wanted to stay in bed. The tablets were there, ready to be taken.
But something pulled me to the computer. Jesus. I came onto tumblr.
Beginning to scroll down, the enemy screamed in my own voice “I don’t deserve that! I don’t deserve these messages or the love of others!” And then there was a voice, like the roar of a lion, and He shouted “BE GONE!” and there was quietness.
And there I was, in my brokenness. Jesus told me to keep scrolling. Every post I came across, He said, “This is how much we love you”, “This is what you are worth”, “This is how precious you are”…
I promised Jesus that I would never attempt to take my life again, just as long as He would continue to fight for me. He kept His end of the bargain up.
I’m sitting here, completely and utterly broken, but resting in the arms of our Precious Savior. The storm is still raging, things are just as they were before, only… God’s voice is louder. God’s love is stronger. God’s light is brighter."
I will never again doubt the power of consistent prayer... never doubt that God works in the strangest and weirdest ways... she didn't find this peace from a church staff, from a counseling center, from parents, or even mentors in her life... God used a bunch of teens who just want to write their heart out on a blog. God used a bunch of teens who love Jesus, but sometimes feel that they can only do anything for Him if it's over the internet.
God moved.
Recently my tweets, facebook status's, and my meditation has been on a song by Sanctus Real called 'The Redeemer'
Some of those lyrics go like this-
I don't have every answer in life
But I'm trusting You one day at a time
'Cause You can make a weak heart stay alive forever
this is where Heaven and Earth collide
I lift my hands and give my life
This is how my weary heart stays alive
But I'm still a dreamer, a believer
Oh, I've lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You
'Cause You can make anything new
Yeah, You can make anything new
What shocks me is the peace and the turnaround in this young lady's life that she is able to post what i started this post with... less than a day after feeling so broken.
Our God moves mountains...
Our God answers prayers...
Our God makes all things new...
And don't you for one minute feel like you are somehow outside of this... that you are somehow not eligible for that kind of love or grace.
Whether by things you've done, things that have been done to you, or a mixture of both... because they always seem to collide together to wreck our lives.
God LOVES you.
God ADORES you.
God NEVER let's you go.
And He is in the business of making you a new creation...
He never grows weak or weary... nothing is too much for Him.
He's a Father to the fatherless and the ones who have fathers already.
He is everything.
How awesome is that?
